When I’m 84


My Grandmother had her 84th birthday this July. Anyone who knows her will testify that she’s not like any other 84 year old. Until just a few years ago she was still employed full time at the post office. She still would be, but she had some health problems, so now she’s retired. My grandfather is a farmer, and they still live on the farm – their home since the 1940s.

We all took her out to the Country Buffet (CB), since it’s her favorite place. It’s just about what it sounds like and wouldn’t be my choice, but hey, it wasn’t my birthday.

A good time was had by all. Unfortunately, we didn’t get too many good pictures of her.
Grandma, Grandpa and John
I forgot my camera and Lindsey’s was full from their trip to Iowa, so what you see here is pretty much what we got.

As usual, John was a major hit. Going to be a low blow when he gets a little sister and isn’t always the center of attention.

Great Grandmas Birthday Balloon Hat

After we finished eating Mr. Clay the balloon guy showed up. Since his dad was out of town I took John over to have a balloon made.

It was amazing. We stood there for at least 20 minutes, waiting for John’s turn. He was totally riveted to the balloon man and his creations. For those of you who don’t know, John is more active than most two year olds, the boy never stands still. While waiting for the balloon he stood there holding my hand with only the occasional nervous jump.

Balloon Hat

Finally our turn came. Since John doesn’t talk much, he couldn’t make a request, so I suggested a surprise. Mr. Clay proceeded to ask me how big our car was. Since Lindsey’s Tahoe was at it’s full 8 person capacity, recommended not getting too carried away.

The Balloon man proceeded to make the HUGE hat you see here (not sure what he would have made if I told him we had enough room). I remember thinking that John wouldn’t wear that. He can be kind of difficult that way, but I was wrong. The Balloon Man put it on his head and John wore it all the way home. He was completely fascinated by the whole experience.

Net Neutrality

To date, I haven’t written anything about Net Neutrality. There is a good reason for this. While I am a vehemently against telecoms restricting anyone’s access to the Internet, I also dissapprove of increased government involvement in the administration and regulation of said Internet.

Last week, my friend MJ asked me for my opinion on this issue. I thought I would post my response to her.

Over the last year there has been talk, most notably by the CEO of SBC (now AT&T) (http://www.techdirt.com/articles/20051031/0354228_F.shtml), accusing companies like Yahoo, Google and ebay of making money at the telecoms’ expense. This, of course, is not true since Google has to purchase connections into their facilities just like you and I purchase them into our houses. SBC also complained that they spent the capital to ‘build the pipes’ and these companies shouldn’t be able to use them. Again, this is misleading. Much of the telecom infrastructure has been funded by the US Government, for the telecoms to complain about their
capital expenditures now is a little much.

The SBC CEO’s proposed solution to this problem was to basically charge companies like Google an additional fee. If Google refuses to pay SBC could restrict or stop all traffic between their customers and Google. Of course, to date, none of this has actually happened yet.

As a potential resolution to this problem a bill in support of ‘Net Neutrality’ was introduced into Congress this spring. The concept of ‘Net
Neutrality’, again in a nutshell, basically says the government will regulate the telecoms to ensure that everyone’s traffic is carried
equally. Telecoms will not be allowed to prefer connections to one website over another, or restrict phone calls over one voip service more or less than another.

Now, what do I think of all this? I think Net Neutrality in theory is a great concept, but I also think government involvement usually causes more problems that it corrects. There is enough competition for Internet service in most major areas that no one company can have a stranglehold on the market. It is unlikely that telecoms will be able to force big companies like Google and ebay to pay their extorsion fee, due to the popularity of their services, and it’s equally unlikely that they will go after small companies – not enough profit in it. I’m not aware of any actual abuses by telecoms yet, so my feeling is let’s not get the government involved until we have to – I think the market will work the problem out itself.

Since writing this response, I have had some opportunity to think further on this matter. What is increasingly disturbing is the insidiousness of companies like Google and Ebay. They are supporting Net Neutrality legislation as being better for the consumer, when what they really want to is too support their business model. What’s best for the consumer is a free market with choices, but big Internet companies are concerned that the consumer will choose poorly. To eliminate this possibility they want the government to step in and force consumers to make the right choice.

Net Neutrality is bad, not because of the concept, but because the implementation will further degrade your rights as a US citizen.

‘Til Death Do Us Part

So what’s the deal with weddings? Why are they so boring? We read stories and watch movies where all these romantic types come barging in at the last minute to stop the ceremony, professing never ending love. When does this happen in real life? Where are the scandals? Where are the shotguns? Why doesn’t the bride ever leave the Groom ‘at the altar’? I’ve been to literally hundreds of weddings in my life and I have seen a scandal exactly 0 times.

The closest I ever came to seeing a scandal was when one of the groomsmen locked his knees and passed out. It was tragic, and kind of funny later, but not scandalous at all. Seems like these days there’s just not any good drama in a wedding. Sure, there’s the whole crazy mother/bridezilla thing, but the bride and groom always manage to stand up there and say I Do.

Maybe that’s the real problem here. Maybe saying ‘I Do’ is just too easy. These days everybody even writes their own vows. How silly is that, of course I’m going to agree to something I wrote. It’s almost meaningless – kind of like signing a confession at the police station. I think there should be a new custom. Rather than writing your OWN vows, you should write the vows for your partner.

The groom could write vows for the bride that were something like

I give you this ring, wear it with love and joy. I choose you to be my husband: to have and to hold, from this day forward. as long as we both shall live. And hereto, I pledge you my faithfulness to always keep the house clean and never vacuum during Monday Night Football.

And the bride could provide something along the lines of

I give you this ring, wear it with love and joy. I choose you to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward for better or for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health. I pledge to you I will never leave the toilet seat up and promise to generate at least a 10% annual increase in overall revenue for the family as long as we both shall live.

How much more interesting would this make weddings. In fact, to support this initiative, and keep things hopping until it catches on, if you have upcoming nuptials you should just slip a couple extra lines into the vows. I’m betting you could get your future spouse to agree to all kinds of crazy stuff if you spring it on her during the ceremony. Just give the preacher and extra $20 and get a perpetual right to flirt with Suzy down at the bank for the rest of your life (or at least until the annullment papers show up).

I’m going to California (Part I)

Nearly a year ago my friend Kara, formerly of Loveland Colorado and now living in beautiful San Diego, got married. My sister and I (Kara’s actually Lindsey’s friend) were going to go. We bought tickets, had our bags packed and were headed for an early flight out of DIA (which incidentally I was in trouble for scheduling. Appearantly Lindsey thinks all vacations should start at 4pm).

The night prior to our depature I recieved a phone call from my sister. Her husband, Bob (yeah, we have the same first name – It’s not THAT strange), had fallen off a bicycle and hurt his knee. We might have to cancel the trip. I waited on pins and needles for her next phone call. When she called she had bad news. Bob had broken his knee and was going to have to surgery – she couldn’t go to San Diego. I could have went by myself, but it didn’t sound like fun, so after multiple cursing, hitting walls and yelling at the dogs I called the airlines and changed our tickets.

Later I found out the actual situation. Bob had been working late and Lindsey, as the wonderful wife she is, had taken him some food. The plant where he works is gated and one of his co-workers suggested Bob ride his bicycle out to the gate. Bob rode out to the gate and attempted to balance his supper on the handlebars of the bicycle. His balancing attempt failed and he planted his foot to regain his balance. Unfortunately, he lost more than his balance, his knee shattered, an ambulance was called, surgery was performed with multiple pins and our trip was cancelled. All this for a personal pan pizza from Pizza Hut.

Now fast forward 11 months. Kara’s wedding is (obviously) over, but we still have tickets for San Diego. We are finally going to see her. Booked the tickets this weekend and requested the time off work. I’ve never been to California, so I am excited. Pray that there are no more freak accidents this time.