Saw an article on an interesting study about sex and teenagers today. Appearantly the media is to blame for promiscuity among teenagers.
Now to be honest, I think it's more the interpretation of the results than the results themselves that bother me. The study appears to say that kids that watch more sexually suggestive material are the same kids that have sex at a younger age. The question is, which is the cause, or are both just common traits of teenage behaviour.
The real issue here is the current trend of promiscuity in teenagers. This study seems to be just another smokescreen for the real issue. The problem has more to do with relationships than it does sex. Today's kids are the product of a generation that was raised with one of two attitudes.
1. Sex is great, do whatever you want just wear a condom.
or
2. Sex is evil. Don't date, just be friends and hang out in groups.
Neither group did a good job of teaching kids how to socialize, how to form relationships, how to date and ultimately how to properly have sexual relationships. Until the last 40-50 years parents in the US and previously European cultures have had a significant role in not only teaching their children about relationships, but helping those children find suitable mates. In the last several decades parents have been pushed out/avoided that role. Sadly, the result is a bunch of adults in their 20s and 30s that are now either afraid to commit, completely unskilled at having any kind of relationship or just completely disillusioned about being vulnerable to anyone about anything.
Umm, I’m currently in that age range myself, and getting married in a couple of weeks… and while I do know a few people who have had some combination of bad luck and underdeveloped skills in finding good relationships (most of them hetero males in a very male-dominated subculture), the large majority of my peers seem pretty darn happy and well-adjusted where romance is concerned. What I do think is probably true is that the skills required to find and maintain a good relationship have changed somewhat, as have the expectations of what age is good for establishing a permanent family. But this isn’t bad! — if I’m not mistaken, marriages in very-early adulthood are more likely to end in divorce.
Not that I got particularly useful messages from my parents about dating, necessarily — they fumbled through like a lot of my peers’ parents did. But we are clever social creatures, and we managed.
(Found your blog through the comments on Mano Singham’s.)
Umm, I’m currently in that age range myself, and getting married in a couple of weeks… and while I do know a few people who have had some combination of bad luck and underdeveloped skills in finding good relationships (most of them hetero males in a very male-dominated subculture), the large majority of my peers seem pretty darn happy and well-adjusted where romance is concerned. What I do think is probably true is that the skills required to find and maintain a good relationship have changed somewhat, as have the expectations of what age is good for establishing a permanent family. But this isn’t bad! — if I’m not mistaken, marriages in very-early adulthood are more likely to end in divorce.
Not that I got particularly useful messages from my parents about dating, necessarily — they fumbled through like a lot of my peers’ parents did. But we are clever social creatures, and we managed.
(Found your blog through the comments on Mano Singham’s.)
You bring up some very valid points that I do intend to write some postings on down the road. One disadvantage about this particular topic is that I’m not aware of any studies that are currently being published concerning the success of relationships. All we have to go on are our personal perceptions.
My experiences have been somewhat different than yours. I’ve seen many males, not limited to a mail-dominated subculture, have difficulty with relationships. I’ve seen many females involved in self-destructive relationships for all the wrong reasons and I have had many of my friends that appeared to be ‘pretty darn happy and well-adjusted’ get divorced literally overnight.
You bring up some very valid points that I do intend to write some postings on down the road. One disadvantage about this particular topic is that I’m not aware of any studies that are currently being published concerning the success of relationships. All we have to go on are our personal perceptions.
My experiences have been somewhat different than yours. I’ve seen many males, not limited to a mail-dominated subculture, have difficulty with relationships. I’ve seen many females involved in self-destructive relationships for all the wrong reasons and I have had many of my friends that appeared to be ‘pretty darn happy and well-adjusted’ get divorced literally overnight.